Well it's been a while. but that's ok to me life is full of amazing moments followed by somtimes long pauses. This yr has been full of dreams fufilled for me in many ways ... Biggest of the birth of my fourth boy.
Mylo Abraham Battram. He has filled my heart full and overflowing! We also moved into our Comox home which has been a dream of mine, last but not least was we finally received a diagnosis for my eldest son of high functioning autism and adhd. It was not a dream to have a son with autism it was a dream to have a way to finally acsess help for him and our family!
Having a son " on the Spectrum" has opened my eyes to a world of children that are trying desperately to fit, it's almost a epidemic " a generation on the spectrum ". ( more on that to come)
This morning inparticular is sit in awe of the beauty and glory around me from the tallest mt ...to the smallest baby. I hear again a whisper in my heart... Like a echo... That keeps repeating itself resonating in me until it permeates even into the marrow of my bones... " Trust Me" seems simple yet I can recall these words gently holding me back from running away, and coaxing the rage in my heart to quiet, whispering to me that I can let go ....I will still be loved and still be safe. Logic goes into the wind when we chose to trust Him... But that's all I can do again today, I've fallen down to many times on my own ... And He's been there too many times for me to question even thinking no. 2015 I'm in over my head , I chose to take His hand and say again I choose to trust ... Really trust even though there is still so much pain... So much sin... So many places I know I'll fail ... So in Him I will Trust ....my one true love !
Saturday, 3 January 2015
Saturday, 5 October 2013
what !!!! you crazy girl!!!
Ok so this is a hilarious story that recently happened to me ... while I was enjoying a beautiful sunny day at the water park in the new old town I just moved to. Although I had lived in this town before it seems like another life ago. Wife and mom to three bouncing boys, this place almost doesn't recognize me and the energy I used to have. The best and most awkward thing about moving back is that you run into people you haven't seen in a really long time. On this day a lady I had known sat down with her blanket and her 3 yr old right beside me. "Oh hello!" I said, trying to seem up and cheery not wanting to let on that I had had 4 hours sleep and was really there so I didn't have to listen to the kids tear around the house today.
We started to have what I thought might be the the best conversation I would have today when Noah and Zion (2)my beloved boys buzz up to the blanket and proceed to drip on everything , " oh these are my two youngest boys" I say , "boys this is mom's friend " at that Oliver (14)my oldest a dripping with intellect topped with hormones returns and I could tell the look on his face was not happy. He had been to the book store and bought a book that was. Little to old for him so I asked him to return it and pick somthing else. And from the look on his face it didn't go well. I smiled making a note of all exits as I might need to flee to at any time." Mom "he begins to shout "they wouldn't take my book back!" "Oh that's all ",I thought I can handle this, no worry that there are people everywhere and my aquatint is watching my every move, oh I think this will be a great time to show what a wonderful parent I am " well Oliver did they give a reason?" "No this is your fault you always do this!" Alright he has fully engaged his teen brain . Just as I was trying to reason with him Noah (3) decides he has a life or death question and begins to first tap then whack my shoulder "mooooom ,mooooom, moooom ,mmooooom" Oliver is continuing his rant about the injustice of life in a heated manner as I try to quiet Noah to understand what he would like,out of the corner of my eye I see a little bum that looks quite familiar. it's Zion he has decide that now would be a good time to reive himself. I call out "Zion," as he turns to look urine , sprays over a innocent family sitting on their blanket. By now I am on my feet .," oh I'm soo sorry" I say as I scoop up the little bum and carry him off. I glance at my acatance her mouth is open . I am thinking " well I guess she won't be up for a play date next week".
And as if on que a voice I like to call momma B, (she I the African part of my coping skills, who comes along to bring a little smack down in times of trouble) comes into my head "girllll these people think u crazy" " all these boys need is a nap u are crazy bringing them here on 4 hours of sleep, go home girl" . Well we did go home and slept and it was awesome! God is so good and gracious , even in the times we wonder why we ever choose to reproduce he is here to bring humour if we let him. He speaks in a still small voice or ( in my case) like a lg black woman. He make my life doable and I love it!
We started to have what I thought might be the the best conversation I would have today when Noah and Zion (2)my beloved boys buzz up to the blanket and proceed to drip on everything , " oh these are my two youngest boys" I say , "boys this is mom's friend " at that Oliver (14)my oldest a dripping with intellect topped with hormones returns and I could tell the look on his face was not happy. He had been to the book store and bought a book that was. Little to old for him so I asked him to return it and pick somthing else. And from the look on his face it didn't go well. I smiled making a note of all exits as I might need to flee to at any time." Mom "he begins to shout "they wouldn't take my book back!" "Oh that's all ",I thought I can handle this, no worry that there are people everywhere and my aquatint is watching my every move, oh I think this will be a great time to show what a wonderful parent I am " well Oliver did they give a reason?" "No this is your fault you always do this!" Alright he has fully engaged his teen brain . Just as I was trying to reason with him Noah (3) decides he has a life or death question and begins to first tap then whack my shoulder "mooooom ,mooooom, moooom ,mmooooom" Oliver is continuing his rant about the injustice of life in a heated manner as I try to quiet Noah to understand what he would like,out of the corner of my eye I see a little bum that looks quite familiar. it's Zion he has decide that now would be a good time to reive himself. I call out "Zion," as he turns to look urine , sprays over a innocent family sitting on their blanket. By now I am on my feet .," oh I'm soo sorry" I say as I scoop up the little bum and carry him off. I glance at my acatance her mouth is open . I am thinking " well I guess she won't be up for a play date next week".
And as if on que a voice I like to call momma B, (she I the African part of my coping skills, who comes along to bring a little smack down in times of trouble) comes into my head "girllll these people think u crazy" " all these boys need is a nap u are crazy bringing them here on 4 hours of sleep, go home girl" . Well we did go home and slept and it was awesome! God is so good and gracious , even in the times we wonder why we ever choose to reproduce he is here to bring humour if we let him. He speaks in a still small voice or ( in my case) like a lg black woman. He make my life doable and I love it!
Friday, 4 October 2013
a little bit of this a little bit of that
Well I sit here and ask myself why blog now... haven't you tried this before, I had forgotten so many yrs ago I decided I hated typing ...yes that had been the end of my typing career. A decade later and my seasoned hands find this new age paper again. HOPE this brings you HOPE as you read a sm glimpse into my world.
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